Sleeping :: Gray Area (Part Two, including a HAPPY ENDING)

Coming to you today with part two (of two) of my sleeping posts.  Here's part one.

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Sleep training, cry it out, attachement parenting, cosleeping, dream feeds, schedules, feeding on demand, and the list goes on.  These things are that often polarize moms, and have caused me quite a few headaches while trying to wrap my mind around them and where I fall on this oh-so-opinionated spectrum.

I get the concepts, and I understand the theory behind almost all of these.  What amazes me, is that there are so many great mothers out there, and which of these theories these wonderful parents subscibe to isn't the factor behind the level of their greatness.  What is behind a great parent is obviously the love they have for and show their children.

That being said, I happened to dive head first into a "method" (if you want to call it that) of parenting that I didn't really think I fit into before.  Before what I'm not quite sure, maybe before having kids?  Maybe before having Simon?  Anyhow, I'm not 100% into any one method, in fact a lot of the things I do probably set me in the middle of a few of these methods.

Kirsten, as I've mentioned many times, was not a good sleeper.  In fact, I'd venture to say she was a terrible one.  I'm not going to get too high up on a soap box here, but let's just say it wasn't because we didn't try to teach her how to sleep.  Looking back I can see areas that we maybe hindered her learning to sleep, but we did try.  There would be weeks (maybe even a month or two at a time) where she'd sleep great.

But, then something would happen.  A trip.  A tooth.  An ear infection.  A new work schedule.  Something that would throw her off, and we'd be back to freaking square one again with the whole waking up in the night thing.  She is two now and she still wakes frequently.  I'd say at least once or twice a week she'll cry in the middle of the night.  We don't usually have to go in to calm her, she puts herself back to sleep after a few whines, but still.

So, when little Mr. Simon came along, I was all about having a baby who slept.  We were tired.  Once he weighed enough that I knew physiologically he could make it eight or so hours without needing food, I worked at getting him to go longer at night between feedings, and, it worked. He started sleeping eight to ten hours at night and it was blissful.  


Then, though, the inevitable happened.  Summer vacation was over, and maternity leave was over.  I went back to work.  The kids went back to daycare.  They got ear infections.  Sleep started sucking again.  Those glorious, restful, peaceful, sleepy nights were over.

Eventually, the ear infections were resolved.  Everyone was healthy.  For a few days.  Until, the teething set in.  Simon wasn't interested in sleeping anywhere other than my arms or safely snuggled into me in the Moby wrap.

So, for a few days weeks that is how he napped.  In the Moby.  Friends, let's remember that he is not a little baby anymore. He's my twenty pound baby.  At that point, I new I needed to do something.  He needed sleep just as badly as I did.

I hastily jumped onto the Moms On Call bandwagon that was riding rampantly around blog-land as well as Twitter.  I'm usually not one to read parenting books, let alone pay for an online seminar about how to take care of your child.  But, I did it, and I'm here to tell you that it's one of the best choices I've made in getting Simon to sleep.  And no, in case anyone is wondering, Moms On Call has no idea who I am  and they've not endorsed this post, it's all just my opinions and reflections on the whole ordeal that is babies-sleeping-or-not-sleeping.

Basically, Moms On Call is a scheduling method.  I was (and still am) breastfeeding, and felt very comfortable with my supply so that wasn't a concern of mine when jumping into a somewhat rigid schedule.  I wouldn't have wanted to do a schedule from day one, I know that on demand breastfeeding really gets a mother's supply ready to help her baby grow and thrive.  Plus, as I mentioned, my kid is huge so I wasn't at all concerned about his nourishment.  He was getting plenty.

This method does involve crying, and I hate that.  I can't imagine any mother who likes letting her baby cry, but we had to do it.  In the end, he really didn't cry that much.  At the time it felt like ages but looking back I know it was okay for us.

I've thought about how much Kirsten has cried in her lifetime because she's woken up, that alone is a lot more in total crying hours than we had to endure to get Simon sleeping well with the Moms On Call method/schedule.

One thing I liked but hated that the Moms On Call ladies said is that while obviously you don't want to sleep train while a child is sick, that teething does not count as sickness.  Did you get that?  Teething does not count as sickness, according to them.

That was hard for me to take, because that is one area that is so hard for me.  On one hand, I don't want my baby to be crying in pain from teething.  On the other hand, they seriously are teething for like two years, off and on.  I think we know in our mommy hearts if they're really in serious pain, and in those cases I obviously wouldn't leave any baby of mine to cry in their crib.

It took two nights of letting him fuss/cry to transform my attached baby who previously refused to sleep more than twenty or thirty minutes (unless he was in our arms) into a good sleeper.  


Yes, a good sleeper.  Now, we lay him down for bed awake and he lays there happily for just a minute or two (and quietly, no crying) until he drifts off to sleep for eleven hours!  Eleven magnificent hours of sleep.  This has worked, I'm proud that we figured out what we needed to figure out.  Our family is getting some much needed rest, and that is a very good thing for all of us.

So, my friends, that is the oh-so-very-happy ending to our sleep story.